through worry
to fear
like traffic lights
Green-Amber-Red
1-2-3
or 3-2-1!
like water over-topping my ability to cope
It's being out of control of a situation I find myself in
(or thinking I'm out of control)
rather than I control it
it controls me
I find myself in situations I think I can't
handle
influence in anyway
manage
balance
ending with a sence of switching off
where previously I would have sailed through the senario
this time it is overwhelming me
I feel a sence of hopelessness and dispare
"why couldn't I get it right!"
frightened I might appear stupid
frightened that I might loose my job
loose face
it all come crumbling down
cross with myself that I couldn't get right
down
frustrated
defeated
beaten by something I've previously been able to deal with
it's all out of proportion
but at the time it is very real
